Being an author is a strange job.
People have a general sense of what we do, but that sense is… let’s say impressionistic. Which leads to some truly fascinating assumptions.
So, in the spirit of public service, here are the Top Five Misconceptions About Authors.
1. We Make Quadrillions of Dollars
This is my favorite.
Somewhere out there is a persistent belief that once you publish a book, money just happens. Royalty checks arrive in wheelbarrows. Your biggest problem becomes deciding which yacht to take to lunch.
In reality, most authors are thrilled when their book earns enough to:
- cover editing,
- cover cover design,
- and maybe buy a nice dinner without looking at the price column.
Quadrillions, alas, remain elusive.
2. We Only Write When Inspired
Inspiration is lovely. It is also wildly unreliable. Professional authors write when:
- the schedule says write,
- the deadline says write,
- or the rent says write.
Inspiration tends to show up after the work starts, not before.
3. We Know Exactly How the Book Will End
Sometimes we do. Other times, we’re just as surprised as you are — we just get there first.
A lot of writing is exploration. You follow characters, decisions, consequences, and occasionally discover you’ve written yourself into a corner and need to back out carefully without knocking anything over.
4. Writing Is Just Sitting Around Making Stuff Up
Technically true. Also wildly misleading. Writing involves:
- problem solving,
- emotional logic,
- structural decisions,
- research rabbit holes,
- and a frankly unreasonable amount of revision.
The “making stuff up” part is maybe ten percent of the job.
5. Once the Book Is Published, the Work Is Done
Oh, sweet summer child. Publishing a book is not the finish line. It’s the starting gun. After that comes:
- editing again,
- marketing,
- updates,
- newsletters,
- social posts,
- reader questions,
- and the mysterious task known as “discoverability.”
The writing may be solitary. The publishing part is anything but.
None of this is meant as complaint. Writing is still the job I’d choose even knowing all of the above. But if you ever meet an author and think, Wow, they must be rolling in it and only writing when the muse strikes…
Just know we’re probably smiling politely while thinking about our spreadsheets.
— Mark
