From the SRP Editor blog:
I’ve been yanking passive voice out of one of my manuscripts this week. Yes, me. The guy who tells other writers not to do it. The one who knows better. Turns out I’m just as capable of falling into that particular trap as anyone else. (You’d think experience would save you. It doesn’t. Sorry.)
So, let’s talk passive voice: what it is, why it makes your writing sound like lukewarm oatmeal, and how you can fix it without throwing your laptop through a window.
What the Hell Is Passive Voice?
Passive voice happens when the subject of your sentence has stuff done to it, instead of doing the thing.
- Passive: The cookie was eaten by the kid.
- Active: The kid ate the cookie.
The first one feels limp and flabby. The second one feels like something actually happened. Which is what you want in fiction: momentum, action, life.
Why It’s a Problem
Passive voice sucks the energy out of your writing. It makes sentences long-winded, abstract, and harder to follow. Your readers may not know why it feels dull, but their brains will check out faster than a teenager at a family reunion.
Does that mean passive voice is always bad? No. Sometimes you want to emphasize the object, not the subject. (The bank was robbed last night.) But those moments are rare. Ninety percent of the time, you’ll be better off with active voice.
How to Find It
The bad news: passive voice can be slippery little bastard. The good news: you can hunt it down.
- Look for “to be” verbs + past participles.
If you see was eaten, were taken, had been written, you might have passive voice. - Check for “by” phrases.
“The car was driven by Frank.” If you’ve got “by” followed by a noun, odds are you’re looking at passive voice. - Ask yourself, “Who’s doing the thing here?”
If you can’t tell, or if the doer is dangling off the end of the sentence like an afterthought, it’s probably passive.
How to Fix It
Once you’ve found the little beasts, here’s how to smack them down:
- Flip the sentence around.
The letter was written by Sarah. → Sarah wrote the letter. - Cut the “by” completely if it doesn’t matter.
The store was closed by six o’clock. → The store closed at six o’clock. - Give the action back to the subject.
Mistakes were made. (By who? God? Aliens?) → I made mistakes.
Boom. Cleaner, stronger, tighter.
Pro Tip
Don’t obsess over this in your first draft. That way lies madness. Just tell the damn story. Passive voice cleanup is an editing job. Which is exactly what I’ve been doing this week—digging it out, one sentence at a time, and marveling at how much sharper everything reads once it’s gone.
So if you’re wading through your own manuscript and wondering why it feels like your prose is made of wet cardboard, check for passive voice. Chances are it’s lurking in there, sucking the life out of your scenes.
Evict it. Your readers (and your future self) will thank you.
— Mark.
