From the SRP Editor blog:
If you’ve ever had a critique partner or an editor ask, “Wait, whose head are we in right now?” — congratulations. You’ve run into a POV problem.
Point of View is one of the least flashy craft elements in fiction, which is exactly why it’s so dangerous. It’s not like plot twists or fight scenes — when POV works, readers don’t even notice it. But when it breaks, they feel it in their bones, even if they can’t name the issue. Suddenly, your story feels distant, jarring, or confusing, and they’re yanked right out of the fictional dream.
Over the years, I’ve noticed five patterns that cause 90% of the POV trouble I see in manuscripts — and they’re all fixable.
Choosing the Right POV (and Not Cheating Later)
Many POV problems start before you even type “Chapter One.” Picking first person because it’s trendy, or omniscient because you want to “show everything,” can backfire if that choice doesn’t serve your story.
Once you’ve chosen a POV type — say, close third person — you have to commit to it.
That means no sudden narrator who knows everyone’s secrets, no sneaky jumps into other characters’ thoughts, and no “cheating” by showing details your POV character couldn’t possibly know.
Think of POV as the lens on your story camera. Once you’ve chosen that lens, you don’t get to swap it mid-shot without cutting away.
Staying Inside the Character’s Head
In limited POV, your reader should feel like they’re wearing the character’s skin. They only see, hear, smell, taste, and feel what that character experiences.
If your POV character is outside in a storm, they might feel the sting of rain in their eyes — but they don’t know their hair is plastered flat unless they touch it. They can’t know someone in the next room is crying unless they hear it.
The moment you start slipping in information they couldn’t possibly perceive, you’ve sprung a POV leak.
The Perils of Head Hopping
This is the POV sin I see most often in manuscripts: jumping between multiple characters’ thoughts and feelings in the same scene without a clear break.
Example:
John watched Mary smile, wondering what she was thinking.
“I wish I’d worn different shoes,” Mary thought.
That’s head hopping. It’s jarring because the reader is being asked to leap from one consciousness to another without warning. If you need to switch POV, give the reader a clean transition — a scene break, a chapter break, or a clear shift in perspective.
Using Sensory Details as POV Anchors
One of the easiest ways to keep POV tight is to filter the world through your character’s unique perspective.
Two people can walk through the same marketplace and notice completely different things. A baker might smell the yeast from a nearby bakery before they see it. A thief might notice which stalls have the weakest locks. Those details are your POV glue — they keep the reader grounded in one character’s reality.
Catching POV Leaks in Revision
When you revise, read each scene with this question in mind: Could my POV character realistically know this?
If the answer is “no,” you’ve found a leak. Fix it by rephrasing the sentence from the character’s perspective, cutting the offending detail, or shifting the moment to a scene where it belongs.
This is tedious work — I won’t lie. But it’s also the work that makes the difference between a manuscript that “feels off” and one that sweeps readers away from page one.
Final Thought
POV is invisible when it’s done right, which is why it’s so easy to underestimate. But it’s the thing that gives your reader a direct line into your characters’ hearts and minds. Respect it, guard it, and your storytelling will instantly feel more professional and more immersive.
Mark Posey
SRP Author and thriller writer.
Mark writes thrillers for readers who don’t mind a little dirt under the nails — stories with emotional weight, lean prose, and characters who rarely do the right thing for the right reason. His work lives somewhere between noir, revenge fantasy, and literary grit, though he avoids calling it any of those because that sounds like marketing.
When he’s not writing fiction, Mark also works as a professional editor and story consultant. His editing blog offers straight talk for indie and traditionally published authors alike — especially the ones who are tired of being told to “find their voice” by people who can’t define what voice is.
He believes in clarity over cleverness, clean narrative over trend-chasing, and that semicolons are fine, but you probably don’t need as many as you think.
He lives in Canada, which explains the politeness, but not the sarcasm.
You can find him online at MarkPoseyAuthor.com, where he blogs about writing, editing, story structure, and whatever else is on fire this week. His books are published through Stories Rule Press, an independent publisher of genre fiction with strong characters and sharp writing.
